Monday, May 24, 2010

Pre-City Thoughts

I’m writing this as I sit on a train moving through the mountains of Vermont. As I head to NYC (my home for the next two and half months), I can’t help but think of the motives, intentions, and implications of what I am doing. It hasn’t been easy. I don’t get to see my family often, since they moved to a small village in Vermont. Once again, I will be spending a summer away from them, friends, and my job. I’ve asked myself why. My concentration in college the past three years has been Youth Ministry. That is what I want to become fully involved in once I graduate, and it has had a large part to do with why I chose CSM. I want to impact teens to look beyond their needs and desires and serve Jesus by serving others. Of course CSM is a great way to do this, and it doesn’t look bad on a resume for future opportunities in youth ministry. I’m also in the middle of trying to discern whether God may be prodding me to work in an urban environment. Again, a summer in the city would be great testing ground for this.

But I can’t help to think that my job this summer may have something to do with me and God. Sure, my other motives are legitimate reasons. I just can’t seem to let go of the fact that the process leading up to this job has been hard. And I’m certain that this summer will be even harder. As I evaluate my expectations for this summer, I have come to face a few things about my job.

1) Two and a half months of work aren’t going to solve the problems in the city.

2) A week in the city isn't going to be the solution to any issues the teen groups may have.

3) I’m not supposed to solve either group’s problems anyway. God has more to do with that than me.

This all leaves me to consider myself. Of all the realistic expectations I could have about working in the city this summer, the most probable one I come to is that God will work in me. Of course I believe that I will have an impact on those around me. Of course I believe that God can use me in some incredible ways. But all of that is up to God and my own willingness. The only two factors in the equation I have anything to do with are me and God. I have believed in a God for a while now, and over the years I am continually fascinated with what I have grown to understand. I like it when I learn something new. I like it when God helps me to grow. But if my memory serves me correct, the time periods in my life where I grew the most are marked with the most difficulty. Growth doesn’t come easy.

As I head to the city, I like to think that of the many reasons I am going, I am going to find God. I’m not sure how God will show up, but I’m expecting it. Hopefully, I’ll be able to share some of those experiences. Most of all, I hope I get to know God better, and that I am used to help others do the same.

3 comments:

  1. Steve as I read your post I am reminded of 1 Corinthians 3.5-9, "Who then is Paul, and who is Apollos, but ministers through whom you believed, as the Lord gave to each one? I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase. So then neither he who plants is anything, nor he who waters, but God who gives the increase. Now he who plants and he who waters are one, and each one will receive his own reward according to his own labor.
    For we are God’s fellow workers; you are God’s field, you are God’s building."

    We are planting seeds and watering seeds that have been planted, but in the words of Mr. Seavey, "There is only one Sōtēr(σωτήρ) and you are not Him." Just do the planting and watering and praying to the Lord to bring the increase. Trust in Him, because He will do wonderful things through people who are fully devoted to Him.

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  2. Thanks for your thoughts Corey.

    I think it is amazing that God would want to use the most unlikely people in the most unlikely ways to bring about hope and life.

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  3. Pray'n for you bro. Can't wait to hear about the ways God whispers to you.

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