Pre-City Thoughts

I’m writing this as I sit on a train moving through the mountains of Vermont. As I head to NYC (my home for the next two and half months), I can’t help but think of the motives, intentions, and implications of what I am doing. It hasn’t been easy. I don’t get to see my family often, since they moved to a small village in Vermont. Once again, I will be spending a summer away from them, friends, and my job. I’ve asked myself why. My concentration in college the past three years has been Youth Ministry. That is what I want to become fully involved in once I graduate, and it has had a large part to do with why I chose CSM. I want to impact teens to look beyond their needs and desires and serve Jesus by serving others. Of course CSM is a great way to do this, and it doesn’t look bad on a resume for future opportunities in youth ministry. I’m also in the middle of trying to discern whether God may be prodding me to work in an urban environment. Again, a summer in the city would be great testing ground for this.

But I can’t help to think that my job this summer may have something to do with me and God. Sure, my other motives are legitimate reasons. I just can’t seem to let go of the fact that the process leading up to this job has been hard. And I’m certain that this summer will be even harder. As I evaluate my expectations for this summer, I have come to face a few things about my job.

1) Two and a half months of work aren’t going to solve the problems in the city.

2) A week in the city isn't going to be the solution to any issues the teen groups may have.

3) I’m not supposed to solve either group’s problems anyway. God has more to do with that than me.

This all leaves me to consider myself. Of all the realistic expectations I could have about working in the city this summer, the most probable one I come to is that God will work in me. Of course I believe that I will have an impact on those around me. Of course I believe that God can use me in some incredible ways. But all of that is up to God and my own willingness. The only two factors in the equation I have anything to do with are me and God. I have believed in a God for a while now, and over the years I am continually fascinated with what I have grown to understand. I like it when I learn something new. I like it when God helps me to grow. But if my memory serves me correct, the time periods in my life where I grew the most are marked with the most difficulty. Growth doesn’t come easy.

As I head to the city, I like to think that of the many reasons I am going, I am going to find God. I’m not sure how God will show up, but I’m expecting it. Hopefully, I’ll be able to share some of those experiences. Most of all, I hope I get to know God better, and that I am used to help others do the same.

Ripple Effect

My grandfather often says that water fascinates him. He’s always loved fishing and swimming, and going to the ocean is a favorite pastime. As strange as a fascination with water might sound, the more I think about it, the more I have to agree with him. When I visit my family in VT, there is nothing more calming throughout the night than the sound of the running river in their back property. A couple weeks ago, I went on a camping trip. My favorite part was the small waterfalls that I found deep in the forest (see photography). But as I think about it, the beauty doesn’t strike me as much as the nature of water. Given a level and enclosed area, water takes on a still, quiet form such as a pond. Throw in a decline and some gravity, and you easily have a rushing river. It can give life, or be an agent of destruction. Water is something of potential.

People fascinate me. When I was a teen, I couldn’t wait to finish school and go out skateboarding with my friends. Friends play a huge part of my life now. I love going out with friends for a cup of coffee or to hear some live music. I even still enjoy an occasional skate session. I also love meeting new people. Each person has a unique story and personality. I’ve always prided myself in my diversity of friends. I think what fascinates me most about people is their nature. And like water, everyone has potential.

The question is what kind of potential do we want to reach? Most of the time, we prefer the safe, stable environments. Environments where we only interact with people we’re comfortable with, opportunities we manage, and beliefs we understand. We maintain these things with such consistency and control that we become entrenched in our routines and mindset. And like a still and quiet pond, any disturbance in the water is unwanted.

But the problem with this life style is that it lacks motion. Motion is what changes us and impacts people. It means breaking out of our norm to reach someone in need or to learn something new. These actions always involve risk though. The risk of losing balance, moving in the wrong direction, and expending energy all come with it. To be moved to action means risking that ripple of disturbance in our comfortable environment. But that ripple is exactly what we need in our still, quiet “ponds.” The ripple effect is a truly awesome phenomenon. It only takes one small stone to create a huge effect on the surface of the water. The waves continue to expand outward, until they reach the outer edge of the water.

Our actions can be likened to the ripple effect. Our personal growth and our impact on others start with one small action that leads to wider results. Actions such as these can affect others in ways that we cannot even see. But they never would have occurred without an initial break from what we are comfortable with. We have the potential. Now there must be motion. And comfortable, stable environments are the ultimate motion killer. We have to be willing to evaluate ourselves. Will we be satisfied with our lives at a stasis, or will we be moved to create a ripple effect with our lives?